OVERCOMING THE DARK SIDE OF LEADERSHIP: How to Become an Effective Leader by Confronting Potential Failures
Gary L. McIntosh & Samuel D. Rima
© 2007, 256 pages
There is a lot of talk about “toxic leadership” in the military right now, and I’ve oftentimes wondered how people can develop over the years from promising young lieutenants and airmen into toxic leaders. How does it happen? Why is it that many people start their leadership journeys out so well and end them with catastrophic failure? How do they not see their weaknesses undermining their leadership strengths over time? How do I keep that from happening to me?
McIntosh and Rima have labeled toxicity “the dark side.” No matter what kind of leader you are, we all have a dark side to varying degrees. The bad news is that all of us can be “toxic” at times or have traits with the potential to harm those around us, but the good news is that–if properly managed–our dark side doesn’t have to get out of hand.
“The dark side, though sounding quite sinister, is actually a natural result of human development. It is the inner urges, compulsions, and dysfunctions of our personality that often go unexamined or remain unknown to us until we experience an emotional explosion…”
The book Overcoming the Dark Side of your Leadership by McIntosh and Rima gives a solid and objective measure for leaders to detect and defend against the potential of becoming toxic toward their co-workers, families, and themselves. It includes a self-assessment and a holistic strategy for addressing the parts of our leadership that may become toxic through spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. Coming from authors with a Christian worldview, many of the examples in the book are geared toward pastoral leadership and draw examples from both Biblical and modern leaders, but the points still apply to leaders in any field.
The authors have found that a dark side is usually (and almost exclusively) directly tied to the very personality and leadership traits that bring us success early on. For example, attention to detail might have an unhealthy obsession with perfection that, if left unchecked, may lead to micromanaging, disrespecting, and alienating your team. A strong leader may initially draw people because of her charisma, but narcissistic roots could cause her to forget that her team is not simply a means to an end. The high-speed leader may push himself and his team to greatness as a CGO, then later push people to the breaking point when he doesn’t get the feedback or validation that is rare at higher echelons of leadership. All of these things are examples of “dark sides” we all need to be aware of within ourselves.
“When we refuse to process in healthy ways feelings of insecurity, unhealthy codependence issues, feelings of personal shame, deeply sublimated anger or fear, or some combination of these or other issues, they will wreak havoc in our lives and leadership and eventually endanger ourselves and others.”
The first time I read this book, it awakened me to several things within myself that I had never realized before. The short inventories revealed that I have traits of passive aggression and co-dependency. I grew up thinking my confrontation style was diplomatic, but now I know it has the potential to be destructive if I do not intentionally reign it in. I also learned that I carry people’s problems unnecessarily as my own (which is REALLY bad for a chaplain, someone that everyone comes to with their problems). Since then I have been able to address these areas by working through things from the past, realizing my role as a leader, and learning when to step away and practice self care–not as just a stress-decreasing practice but as an investment in my future leadership.
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